Hi! I'm Carolien

Or, depending which country I'm in: Caroline, Carolina, Caro, Carito… 😉

If you had told me before 2017 that I would work, live, and travel solo in South-America, Asia, Australia and Europe for more than 4 years and that I would be a self-employed Expat Coach by now, I would have never believed you.

Breaking free

Since I was a child, I dreamed of going abroad once in my life. Preferably on a long trip. Just by myself. Because: living in the Netherlands for the rest of my life? I couldn’t picture it. However, did I know it would get this out of hand?

Experiencing ultimate freedom. Independence. Being able to decide everything myself, where I would go, when and how. Breaking free from home, old patterns, non-working ways of thinking. From my country’s system. I want to challenge myself, broaden my horizons and get to know other cultures.

I wanted all

Because: surely there must be more in life than going to school, studying, and working for 40+ years, right? Even though I come from a family where we (materialistically) had everything we needed, I had felt stuck for years.

Mainly in myself.

Being the youngest in the family, everything was often decided for me, and most things were taken out of my hands. This made me feel dependent, anxious to do things on my own and make my own decisions.

In addition, I was a socially awkward child. I was insecure, unhappy, negative, short-sighted, didn't know what I wanted in life, had practically no self-esteem and felt incapable of just about anything.

I was craving for freedom and independence

At 18, I decided to change course. After my first sessions with a psychologist, I broke out of my old, familiar environment for the first time by moving from Enschede to Nijmegen for my studies. A 6 month Erasmus exchange in Belgium followed as the first big step abroad and after experiencing severe burnout during my social work internship, I discovered the world of coaching. A spark ignited: THIS is what suits me!

My first big trip

Fueled by my burnout, I was still set on making that one long trip alone. In January 2018, after graduating, the moment finally came. After shitting my pants, I booked a one-way ticket to Bangkok.

What followed was a massive 4-month adventure. Aside from packing and sorting out the basics, I had (deliberately) prepared nothing. No plan. No end date. I wanted to dive into the experience, without expectations and challenge myself to handle whatever came my way.

A whole new world opened up to me – and, in turn, so did I open up to the world. I traveled alongside fellow travelers, both young and old, connected with locals, and then chose to walk my own path again. Going with my own flow.

I felt invincible.

Challenges abroad

I was confronted with myself and my old patterns many times and I found myself drowning in the whirlwind of my own thoughts. My freedom turned into chaos.

I was overthinking my life, purpose and stressing to make the best decisions. Expected from myself to overcome everything alone. I felt overwhelmed by cultural differences. Having to manage myself 24/7 and no one there to take actual care of me, I felt very lonely at times.

And maybe more so: I felt quick (deep) connections with new people, but then lost them as rapidly. A sense of community was quicky there, but also leaving me shortly after.

Depressed

After 4 months of travelling across Asia, I spiraled into a dark hole. Where I once thought I knew who I was and how to navigate life, I faced my first existential crisis.

I went from ‘feeling Dutch’ to feeling like a complete stranger in my own country. Who am I, now that I’ve experienced such a different life? What is my purpose? Where do I truly belong?

Do my friends still align with who I’ve become? Do I still fit in the Netherlands? Why is the world structured the way it is? Do people here even understand what life is REALLY about?

My mind was working overtime. I felt lost and utterly directionless. No one seemed to understand me or this ‘new version’ of me, leaving me feeling extremely lonely and depressed.

Working abroad

With great reluctance, I took a 40-hour office job, only to get back on a plane six months later. Australia seemed to be my financial godsend.

Yet, jobs were not for the taking. I had to put in all my effort, to sometimes end up in a shit job. Australia turned out to be not such an easy country at all. Even for me, looking Western, speaking the language well and having good work ethic.

While having a university degree, I could only work “simple jobs”, such as hospitality and farms.

Unexpectedly, I frequently felt undervalued. For Australian employers, I was just another foreigner, mainly meant to take on jobs Australians didn’t want to do themselves.

Different from Asia, I was struggling financially. The costs of living were high, exploitation of foreigners was not uncommon, and a ‘friend’ even scammed me.

Though I was working with other foreigners and Australians for months, we still had to part ways at some point, leaving me feeling alone – again – and tired of starting the whole friend making-process – again.

Fun facts about me…

If you REALLY knew me, you'd know that I:

🪻    Rub and smell every bunch of lavender I come across on the side of the road

📺 I looooove Tell Sell and Tommy Teleshopping commercials 😂

🌈 When I’m reading, I always see colors in all the numbers, vowels, and some consonants. What I thought was normal as a child, turns out to be synesthesia

🍕 I think New York pizza with vegan shawarma are the absolute best. If you’re Italian, please don’t kill me.

👱🏼‍♀️ I switch up my hair constantly. Loose, tied, ponytail, bun – I change at lightning speed.

💃 Confirmed by the Latin community: I’m partially Latina: I ❤️ giving my all on the dancefloor and I’m very expressive (even more in Spanish)

🌞 Thanks to hibernating in sunny places, I have developed a growing colony of freckles. I might just turn into one big freckle one day 🥲