✈️🌍 Post-Travel Depression. Reverse Culture Shock or Reentry Shock. You might recognize any of these terms.

Basically, it’s the (major) slump you feel when you return home after a long period abroad (alone). Whether you've lived the expatriates or digital nomad life, been an international student, or traveled solo.

In this very personal blog, you will find practical tips to overcome this.

Click here and go straight to:

From Asia Back to The Netherlands

Reuniting with My People and Feeling Lonely

Mind in Overdrive

From Rock Bottom to Turning Point

Aftermath

4 Tips to Overcome Reverse Culture Shock and Post Travel Depression

From Asia Back to The Netherlands

Before my very first big solo trip to Asia, I wanted to feel freedom and independence. I wanted to challenge myself, grow as a person, broaden my horizons, and experience local ways of living.

Finally, after 4 months of living a completely different life, I returned home to the Netherlands 🇳🇱, determined to integrate all the positives into my Dutch lifestyle.

How hard could it be?

Well, you guessed it.

I landed (pretty damn jetlagged 😵‍💫) and was immediately hit by reverse culture shock.

Nothing. Had. Changed. And yet, everything was different.

I was different.

While I had spent months experiencing different cultures and forming meaningful connections with locals and other foreigners 🤝🌏, everyone in the Netherlands seemed focused on trivial things. Unable to see what really matters in life.

Why is everyone so fast, rushed, short-tempered, and individualistic? Stressed? Always on their phones? Not smiling? Cold-hearted? And WHY is everyone wearing shoes? 👞

Thus, Carolien, the (now) semi-hippie 🧘‍♀️

All jokes aside, I no longer knew how to ‘do it’ in the place I once called home. I felt disconnected, out of place—mentally, emotionally, and socially homeless. And therefore, I felt the strongest resistance to reintegrate.

How much really changes in your loved ones’ lives when they've just been working or studying for 4 months? Probably very little.

Call me naïve. But I was completely overwhelmed.

I had pretty much lived a twenty-part soap opera — learning to ride dirt bikes 🏍️, hiking volcanoes alone 🌋, attending authentic Asian ceremonies, and expanding my mind and perspective on life and the world.

Suddenly, I saw everything crystal clear—and it no longer matched my culture or my loved ones.

Reunited with My People and Feeling Lonely

Of course, friends and family wanted to hear my stories, but simply put, they could never truly understand me.

I also wanted to share my newfound knowledge and skills—to inspire them to do things differently too. But this was neither understood nor well received. Which made me feel very unhappy and lonely.

Dutch life—including my people and their way of living—felt so distant. Home was no longer home.

“Caro, your life there was just temporary.”
“Just find a nice job! Start over!”
“Why do you feel so bad? You should feel happy.”

Mind in Overdrive

All of this eventually led to me not wanting to get out of bed anymore, with tears welling up in my eyes the second I woke up.

I spiraled down into my first-ever depression and existential crisis.

I just wanted to escape. But… to where?

Where do I belong? What if I never find my home?

I felt trapped and started to panic.

Nobody understood me. And professional help from a psychologist? They hadn’t been solo abroad themselves…

“I’m probably overreacting anyway.”
“They’ll just tell me to suck it up and go back to normal life.”

I told myself, completely self-sabotaging. Yes, me—Carolien—who would strongly recommend seeking professional help in such a situation. Just… back then, not to herself 🤡

From Rock Bottom to Turning Point

Since I avoided social contact and resisted reintegrating, I hit rock bottom. I no longer left the house and constantly complained about how meaningless life felt to me.

Getting even more anxious and stressed about not earning any money, I forced myself to call an agency for temporary work.

Even if it was just watering plants for 40 hours a week, I told myself I’d accept the job.

With the greatest reluctance, I started working at an office. Fitting in again was hard, but at least it gave me a purpose—to save for another flight ✈️.

Six months later, I left for Australia 🇦🇺 to continue working, yet: elsewhere.

Aftermath

But it wasn’t over. Even though I had physically left home again, the aftermath was LONG.

After 1.5 years, a Dutch friend asked me if I had ever processed that period.

“Actually… no.” I realized. And deep tears welled up in my eyes.

In hindsight—years later—I can honestly say I can help others going through this. As both a certified professional coach and someone who has experienced this (crazy rough) period firsthand, I would have given my younger self very different advice and healthier, more effective tips.

Tip 2: Stay Connected with the Right People

As human beings, we are social animals, and we need to belong 🤗. It’s healthy. Avoiding social contact is a normal response when you’re not feeling well. But isolating yourself will only make you dig a deeper (depressive) hole.

Pick the right people. Family, friends, or coworkers who haven’t spent a long time abroad will never understand—until they experience it themselves. Try and avoid convincing them and: seek at least one or two people who probably understand you best. Other expatriates, (solo) travelers, foreigners.
People can only help you if you tell them. Open up, because trust me—SO many people will recognize themselves in you.
If one-on-one talking is too scary, post (anonymously) in online foreigner communities on Facebook. I’ve seen a lot of helpful responses to this. Most responders are understanding and compassionate ❤️

Tip 3: Write and Reflect

Writing can be incredibly relieving 📝. Since writing is slower than thinking, it helps slow down the rollercoaster in your mind.

Set an alarm for 10 minutes (create a short and timed framework). Write and reflect:

On the experiences you gained from your time abroad:
- What 3 major lessons have you learned?
- What 3 things inspired you the most?
About today:
- How are you truly feeling today?
- What’s really going on inside you?
- What one thing can you do today, to make it better?

Hi! I'm Carolien

I'm an Expat Coach (expatriates), here for foreigners who (temporarily) work and live abroad. For those who find themselves struggling with mental, emotional, social and cultural challenges, such as loneliness, missing a sense of community, cultural differences, overthinking, feeling stressed, misunderstood, anxious, or even depressed.

For those who are longing for meaningful long-term friendships (with locals), the best ways to integrate, or even who want to find a new meaning or purpose in their (new) life.

With 7+ years of (certified) coaching experience and 4+ years of having been solo abroad, I professionally help expatriates overcome mental, emotional, and social challenges.

Through my 1-1 coaching and personal blogs I wholeheartedly want to help expatriates overcome their issues and thrive again.

Feeling deeply connected (again) with yourself and have deep(er) connections with the right people for you. Back to feeling confident, happy, and regaining balance and inner peace!